I don’t have that compartment

I was lamenting to my husband tonight about a disappearing friend.

He said that I should put that friend into a compartment where you keep friends like that, the kind that come and go in your life.

I don’t have that compartment.

So, instead, I torture myself by trying to figure out what I might have done.  I blame myself for some imagined slight or insult or poor behavior.  The only thing is, I can’t understand what I could have done. I still decide secretly that I am a horrible person and a failure at life.  Because I am dramatic like that.

I’m tempted to contact the missing friend but that would end badly–at least it does in my overactive imagination.

I miss my friend.

I hope I didn’t do anything to hurt my friend.

Why does life seem so much like fourth grade sometimes?

7 Responses to “I don’t have that compartment”

  1. Yvonne I. June 12, 2012 at 5:42 am #

    “Why does life seem so much like fourth grade sometimes?” And here I thought it was just me. I have to keep reminding myself that things like this are usually never about me, and almost always about them. It’s nothing you did….

  2. Michelle June 12, 2012 at 6:11 am #

    I don’t get it either. . .hopefully said friend is just in the midst of something that likely doesn’t have a thing to do with you and will come around again soon.

    I wonder if you and I would be friends if we actually knew each other? We’re so much alike in a lot of ways. . (and I realize you are at a distinct disadvantage here since I don’t blog and I only pop in with the occasional comment, maybe someday my husband will find a job in your neck of the woods and we can be actual friends. . .)

  3. linda June 12, 2012 at 7:30 am #

    some people are not good at maintaining friendships.
    i am one of them.
    it is my weakness, flaw, problem…
    do not blame yourself.

  4. judy June 12, 2012 at 10:14 am #

    Ugh. I have given up. The grand kids seems to like me okay. I am just an awkward person.
    Even in the story of my life I don’t seem to play a major roll.

  5. MissKris June 12, 2012 at 10:25 am #

    Because I moved from my small hometown to a much larger town at a crucial time in life…entering my teens…and then going to 6 different schools in the last 6 years of education, I attribute a lot of that to my friend-making-and-keeping ability. Sometimes I have a tendency to hold on to a friendship longer than I should…not letting it fade away naturally when I need to let go. It seems that I have a core group of about 10 people that HAVE been a part of my life for 50 years and even those friendships have ebbed and flowed with the currents of life. I used to sweat it in my younger years but I try to just go with the flow now. I haven’t particularly cared for some people I’ve met. Some people may not particularly like me. We’re not made to love everybody, I don’t think. I am like Judy…my grandboys love me just fine, so do my hubby and kids. In the full scope of things, that’s what really matters anyway. Friends, tho, are the icing on the cake, aren’t they? I do hope you get this one figured out, just to be able to rest your mind.

  6. Vivian June 12, 2012 at 5:39 pm #

    it may not be you…she may need space to deal with an issue she is to embrassed to share with anyone..even a good friend. sometimes we all just need space.
    friends give other space. she will come around when the time is meant to be.

  7. Krys June 13, 2012 at 3:55 pm #

    As much as I love my husband & my life & my job & all of my friends, sometimes I wish I was in the fourth grade again… I admit it~ I am just plain tired. All of my days consist of giving every ounce of what I’ve got to all of the people in my life & even to people who are not “in” my life, because I work with the public. Sometimes I wish it was just about me, but since I am not selfish & God made me a very giving person, I will continue on about my days living & giving.
    Fourth grade just seems SO long ago…. *Sigh!*
    Keep up the great work, Mel! :)

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